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- The Real Diary of a Real Boy - 5/14 -

dipper and drank some water out of that pail, he dident eat any brekfast because he was thinking that the squirrel might have been in the pail then. i wonder if it was. ennyway 35 cents of my cornet money has gone up.

Mar. 23. school today. went down to Pewts to draw pictures. Charlie Woodbury can draw the best, then Pewt, and then me. Beany dont like to draw. we was talking about what we was going to be when we grew up. Charlie Woodbury is going to be a picture painter, Pewt is going to be a lawyer, Potter Gorham and Chick Chickering are going to stuff birds for a living, Beany is going to be a hack driver, Gim Wingit is going to run a newspaper, Cawcaw Harding is going to be a piscopal minister becaus he says they only have to read their speaches out of a book, Nipper Brown is going to be a professer, Priscilla Hobbs is going to play a organ in the baptis church. Prisil can play 3 tunes now on a little organ. i am going to be a cornet player like Bruce Briggam. cornet players can go to all the dances and fairs and prosessions and are invited in and treated when people are married and they serrinade them at night, and they don't have to work either.

Mar. 25. almost as warm as summer, went to church and Sunday school. Beany has got a job blowing the organ for Kate Wells. he only let the wind go out 2 times today. it was funny becaus when the organ stopped Mister Wood who was singing let out an auful hoot before he knowed what he was doing Beany will lose his job if he does it again.

Mar. 29, 186- The toads has come out. fine warm day. me and Potter Gorham have been ketching toads this afternoon. they sit in the pudles and peep. folks think it is frogs but most of it is toads. Potter got 23 and i got 18. tonite i put my toads in a box in the kitchen after the folks went to bed. in the night they all got out of the box and began to hop round and peep mother heard it and waked father and they lissened. when i waked up father was coming threw my room with a big cane and a little tin lamp. he had put on his britches and was in his shirt tale, and i said, what are you going to lick me for now i havent done nothing and he said, keep still there is some one down stairs and mother said dont go down George and father said, lissen i can hear him giving a whistle for his confedrit, i will jump in and give him a whack on the cokonut. i had forgot all about the toads and you bet i was scart. well father he crep down easy and blowed out his lite and opened the door quick and jest lammed round with his club. then i heard him say what in hell have i stepped on, bring a lite here. then i though of the toads and you bet i was scarter than before, mother went down with a lite and then i heard him say, i will be cussed the whole place is ful of toads. then mother said did you ever. and father said he never did, and it was some more of that dam boys works and he yelled upstairs for me to come down and ketch them. so i went down and caught them and put them out all but 2 that father had stepped on and they had to be swep up. then all the folks came down in their nitegounds and i went up stairs lively and got into bed and pulled the clothes round me tite, but it dident do enny good for father came up and licked me. he dident lick me very hard becaus i gess he was glad it wasent a berglar and if it hadent been for me it might have been berglars insted of toads.

Mar. 30. brite and fair, went out with Potter Gorham. saw some toads 2 robins and a blewbird. gosh it makes a feller feel good to see birds and toads and live things.

Mar. 31. April fool day tomorrow. i am laying for Beany. old Francis licked 5 fellers today becaus they sung rong when we was singing speek kindly it is better far to rule by luv than feer.

April 1. auful cold and rainy. i was going to wright a love letter to Beany and sine Lizzie Toles name to it but i told father about it for fun and he said that it was fourgery and that i cood be prostecuted and sent to jale. so i dident. tonite me and Beany rung five door bells for april fool.

April 2. been trying to get rid of some warts. Pewt says if you hook a piece of pork after dark, rub it on the warts and say arum erum irum orum urum and nurum 3 times turn round twice and throw the pork thru a window, then the warts will all be gone the next day. me and Beany is going to try it tomorrow.

April 3. brite and fair. dident get a chance to hook the pork.

April 4. The band played in the band room to-nite. it was warm enuf to have the windows open and we cood hear it. i sat out in the school yard til 10 oclock to hear it and father came out and walked me home. Beany was mad becaus i cared more for the band than for getting rid of the warts.

April 6. dident wright anything last nite, was too scart. i never was so scart in all my life before. me and Beany came awful near getting in jale. we dident know where to hook the pork. i went to our cellar but father was down there making vinigar all the evening, then we went to Beanys cellar but Mister Watson was sitting on the cellar door. so Beany told his father that a man was looking for him to see about a horse and Mister Watson started down to the club stable. then Beany hooked the pork and rubbed it over his warts and then i rubbed it over my warts and we said arum erum irum orum urum and nururn 3 times jest as Pewt said, turned round twice and i plugged the pork right threw a gaslite jest then the gasman came along, he yelled at us and jumped out of his wagon and went for us. we ran down threw the school yard as fast as we cood hiper. there is a hollow in the corner of the school yard by Bill Morrills back yard and there is a little hole in the bottom of the fence where the fellers crawl threw when the football goes into his garden. we skinned threw that hole jest in time. the gasman tried to crawl threw but he coodent, then he clim the high fence but while he was doing that we ran across the carrige factory yard and down by the old brewery up Bow street and home. i went to bed pretty lively and so did Beany. gosh but we was scart.

April 7. One of Beanys warts has gone.

April 8. brite and fair. my warts have not gone.

April 9. brite and fair. my warts have not gone.

April 10. Clowdy but no rane. my warts have not gone.

April 11. rany. i have got 2 more warts. i gess i hadent ought to have broke that gaslite.

April 12. i have got another.

April 13. bully day. me and Potter Gorharn and Chick Chickering went out after toads today. i got 14 but i dident take them home you bet.

April 15. Brite and fair. we all went to church today to see the Lanes. they come from New York and when they go to church everybody goes to see them. there was a boy with them named Willie. i bet i cood lick him.

April 16. Nothing particular today. dont feel very well, kind of headaky and backaky.

April 20. have been sick for 4 days. went to school monday and had to come home. when i got home i fell down on the steps and mother and aunt Sarah came out and got me in the house and put water on my head and rubbed my hands, and then the Doctor came and said, well Joanna, children are a good deel of truble and then he felt of my rist and said hum, and then he looked at my tung and said hum again, and then he pride open my mouth and looked down my throte and said hum, and then he pulled off my close and looked me over rite before mother and aunt Sarah and said well he aint spekled eny. then he said what have you given him Joanna and mother said, nothing, and the docter said, all right give him some more, and mother said i havent given him enything docter, and then he walked around the room and picked up some things and looked at them and then he gave me some of the wirst tasting stuff i ever took. then he said i gess he will be better tomorrow, and then he looked at some more things and went home. i dident sleep very well that nite but was auful hot and my head aked fearful. mother was in my room every time i waked up, and Sarah too. next day i had the docter again he looked at some pictures and things and told mother to give me some more. i always feel better when the docter comes in. he dont scare a feller to deth.

Well the next day i felt a little better and tried to sit up and have my britches on, but i had to lay down again my head aked so, and after awhile my head felt better and as i laid there i could look out of the window and it seamed as if little chains that you could see through like glass, were floating up and down they were about an inch long. well i wached them till i almost went to sleep and jest as i was most asleep i heard Beany out in the street holler, say Pewt, did you know that Plupy is going to die, and Pewt said course i did, why dont you tell me some news, and Beany said i heard he swalowed a peach stone and Pewt said it was liver complaint, and then i heard some one say, you boys shet up.

Gosh you bet i was scart. i hadent thought of dying. i began to howl and holler for mother. she came running in and i told her i was going to die and i told her about breaking the gaslite and a lot of other things and she told me the docter said i was getting better and i wood sit up tomorrow. well i better then and wished i hadent told mother about the gaslite becaus i knew she wood make me tell father. well mother set by my bed all the afternoon and read me some out of Billy Bolegs, jest think of her doing that, so when supper time came i et a lettle tost and had some current jelly. when father come home mother told him about the gaslite and all he said was i wood have to pay for it out of my cornet money. i thought he wood keep me in for a month. i gess mother must have talked to him.

that nite father slep on a lounge in my room. i went to sleep most as soon as he come in. after awhile i dremp i was tied on a sawlog jest going nearer and nearer to the saw and the saw was a going skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo. well i tride to pull away but i coodent move and i tride to holler and i coodent make a yip, and jest before the saw sawed into me i woke up. gosh you bet i was glad, but the funny part was that i could hear the saw going skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, and what do you think it was. it was father snoring. gosh you ought to have heard him. well at first i laffed, but by and by i wanted to go to sleep and father snoring so loud i coodent till mother came in and told him to go to bed and she laid on the sofa all nite. the next day i set up and had my britches on and set up to the window all day. i saw Beany and Pewt and i nocked on the window and waved my claw at them. i am going out tomorrow.

April 22. i went out today. it was real warm. i dident go to church becaus i had been sick. i let my rooster out to fite J. Albert Clark's. they were fiting good when i looked up and there was father looking over the fence. he made me stop the fite and shet my rooster up. i wonder if he wood have stoped them if i hadent been there. i

The Real Diary of a Real Boy - 5/14

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